miercuri, 2 martie 2016

Today.

What would you do if you knew that the world is coming to an end soon? Would you love more? Would you forgive? Would you forget the peoples' mistakes? Would your heart be in peace with the life you lived on this Earth? Would you regret words that were silenced before finding the courage to tell them aloud? Would you remember any unspoken apologize? Would you pray to be given back any moment of your life that wasn't lived in the right way? Would you be sure that you have given all the love you had the capacity to give? Would you face with serenity anyone who ever passed through your life, being sure that you handled gently every soul, that you haven't done any harm, that you haven't broken any heart?
Maybe we don't have so much time left after all. Maybe we don't have so much time to love. Maybe today is the only chance left to change something inside us. Maybe the love that wasn't given to anyone, that we didn't have the courage, or the power or the disponibility to share will be buried forever deep inside our heart, in the graveyard of the feelings condamned to never see the light of the day.
 Maybe we just have today, this very moment. What will we do with it?

luni, 4 ianuarie 2016

Throwback

Don't let anyone hate you for the sake of love. Leave while you still have time. Save something for the memory. Don't kill everything in the trial of reviving what is almost dead. Don't sacrifice what is left of you both. Take that little piece of eternity and keep it in the safest place of your heart. Don't let the love die in you. Moving away, in a distant place, in the warmth of your own self, holding on to the feeling, can immortalize a love. Don't look for eternalness. Allow yourself forgetting. Because forgetting is never complete when it comes to love. Time only erases the unimportant details. The things that would ruin the beauty. What will last though, is the essence. The perfection, dennied by the useless struggles. Forgive yourself, for wanting more from what was already too much. Forgive the other, for not wanting badly enough. Or for being tired. Forgive the circumstances. Allow yourself to move forward, even though a part of you will always remember the way back. Be kind with your weakness. Let your soul wander in the past, from time to time.

duminică, 1 noiembrie 2015

In tacere

Sunt evenimente in fata carora ramai fara cuvinte, fara resurse, fara putere, fara glas, imobil, mut. Ai vrea sa strigi dar vocea iti este paralizata. Ai vrea sa plangi. Sa iti plangi durerea. Sa plangi durerea lumii. Dar parca, pentru un anumit fel de durere, lacrimile sunt prea putine, sunt insuficiente, pentru ca lacrimile se usuca, dar durerea, durerea atator suflete, este condamnata sa ramana adanc intiparita pe chip, sa lase urme de sange, care poate se vor cicatriza, dar care vor durea mereu, latent sau acut, manifest. E un fel de durere condamnata la nevindecare. Si atunci, la ce bun lacrimile, cand lacrimile mele vin si pleaca, cand durerea mea e legata doar cu un fir fragil, de un gand, un gand care salasluieste un timp in mine si apoi se evapora? In fata acestui fel de durere, razbate neputinta umana. Neputinta de a simti, poate, la nivelul la care ar trebui sa simta. Neputinta de a actiona in consecinta.  Neputinta de a nu adanci durerea care, privita din exterior, nu stim cum se simte
, prin afirmatii, prin revolte, prin certuri, prin dezbateri, prin "de ce-uri", prin vina pasata dintr-un teren in altul... Pentru ca toata revolta se va stinge, toate afirmatiile si neintelegerile isi vor pierde sensul, toate se vor estompa curand pentru noi, simplii spectatori. Ce va ramane, e doar durerea, pura, nealterata, a celor care au fost si nu mai sunt, a celor care au ramas, a celor care au vazut, a celor carora existenta le-a fost marcata iremediabil.
As vrea sa pot sa spun ceva, dar atata durere ma indeamna sa tac, in semn de respect pentru ceva ce inca nu mi-a fost dat sa simt. Se pot gasi vinovati. Se pot gasi explicatii. Se poate implora Divinitatea, pentru un raspuns. Cert e ca, in locul celor ce au plecat, am fi putut sa fim noi, oricare dintre noi, pentru ca nimeni nu e cu nimic mai bun. Nimeni nu e cu nimic mai indreptatit sa traiasca. Cert e ca avem in fata inca o zi, ziua asta, care altora le-a fost, brutal, smulsa, sa invatam ceva. Sa schimbam ceva in esenta noastra. E genul de durere care ne obliga sa nu ramanem la fel. Ne obliga sa tacem mai mult si sa actionam mai mult. Ne obliga sa iubim. Ne obliga sa ne indreptam privirea spre Vesnicie, spre Dumnezeu, spre singurul lucru durabil, pentru ca fiinta umana e trecatoare, e neputincioasa in fata mortii.

luni, 6 iulie 2015

Let go...

People come and people go. Sometimes we find ourselves in places we would wish to stay forever.
Sometimes, we want to beg the moment to embrace and to hold us, to hide us from the passing of time.

We would expect life to be a straight path. A path of becoming. An evolution. We would expect to start at some point and finish at some other point, to become mature, to find some answers on the way. The reality is that too often, life is a circle. A closed one. It brings us happines from time to time. Other times, it throws us back where we begun. Leaving us without any bench-mark. Proving us that we didn't gather any experience. That we are some sort of apprentice all the time.

We don't have the right to hold on to the moment. Or people. Or feelings.

All I have ever learned from life, until this point, is that I have to let go. I still don't know how to do it.

duminică, 5 aprilie 2015

Betrayal

I know that beyond you, beyond absence
beyond silence,  above words
beyond darkness and so much far from lightness,
somewhere between you, me, us
but not too far from loneliness
in a place where the sound
is not much louder than the stillness
in the mute sound of a guitar,
I'll find the shiver of your touch
barely touching my skin
more than a memory,
but much further from being real.

I know there is such place
because there is no stronger truth
than the unspoken promise
betrayed by the scream, the light, and realness
of your absence.

joi, 27 noiembrie 2014

suntem definiti de ce lasam in urma noastra.de tacere. de uitare sau de neuitare. de intrebarile fara raspuns ce ne insotesc aducerile-aminte. de cat de mult am putut sa iubim. de neputinta de a raspunde cu iubire. de cat de mult am putut sa dam, din fiinta noastra, spre folosinta, altuia. de amprentele de pe suflet. de suspin sau de zambet.
suntem datori sa nu ramanem rataciti pe cale. suntem obligati sa ne pastram traiectoria rectilinie. suntem datori sa sosim si sa plecam, pentru ca asta e cursul firesc. dar, in preumblarea prin viata, in cursul haotic, fara sens, care ne este dat sa-l urmam, mai presus de orice scop, mai vag sau mai precis delimitat, suntem datori sa lasam in urma frumos.

miercuri, 19 noiembrie 2014

Tentativa de uitare

in ziua in care ai ales sa uiti,
uita,  pur si simplu.
nu te mai face vinovat, mereu si mereu
de tentativa de uitare.
nu ma mai omori, de nenumarate ori
din mintea ta,
doar ca sa ma resuscitezi, alta data,
in alt loc, sub alta forma,
rand dupa rand.
nu mai pastra, ilicit,
franturi din mine,
ce  ti le-am lasat in goana mea inconstienta
cand te-am parasit.
da-mi drumul, elibereaza-ma din fiinta ta
sa ma pot vindeca, candva
de neuitare.